Month: August 2013

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Why Speaking Well of Your Spouse Is So Important

couple togtherWhy Speaking Well of Your Spouse Is So Important – As a leader, the health of your marriage directly affects the impact of your leadership. I have witnessed this time and time again. Being effective at work or in ministry begins by being effective at home.

Early in our marriage we met a couple as we got better acquainted with him and his wife, we started noticing a disturbing trend. They would often make disparaging remarks about the other in public.  At first, it seemed cute.  However, over time, they became more pointed, thinly masking their frustration with one another.  Years later, we learned they suffered an ugly divorce, both admitting to multiple affairs. They lost their family, and, of course, their ministry. To this day, it grieves me to think about it.

Conversely, I noticed a husband that always spoke highly of his wife. He would often say, “I hate to leave her in the morning, and I can’t wait to see her in the evening.” They have been married now for nearly 60 years. Last time we were with them, they were holding hands. It was obvious they were still in love.

In reflecting on these two experiences, I am convinced that praising your spouse in public is one of the most important investments you can make—in your family and in your leadership.

This is important for at least five reasons:

  1. You get more of what you affirm. Have you ever noticed that when someone praises you, you want to repeat the behavior that caused it? This is just human nature. It can be a powerful way to motivate others when it is authentic.
  2. Affirmation shifts your attitude toward your spouse. Words are powerful tools. They can create, or they can destroy. They can build up, or they can tear down. If you start speaking well of someone, you start believing what you say.
  3. Affirmation helps strengthen your spouse’s best qualities. Encouragement is also a powerful force for good. This is why when we are losing weight and people notice, it gives us the strength to stick with the program.
  4. Affirmation wards off the temptation of adultery. When others see you are happily married, they are less likely to proposition you. It’s like a hedge that protects your marriage from would-be predators.
  5. Affirmation provides a model to those you lead. To be a truly effective leader, you must lead yourself, and then you must lead your family. Your marriage is a powerful visual of how you treat the people you value the most. When you speak highly of your spouse, your followers are more likely to trust you. It takes your leadership to another level.
    Affirming your spouse in public is an investment that pays big leadership dividends. In a world where fewer and fewer marriages last, it can be a difference-maker.
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6 Truths About Exercise That Nobody Wants to Believe

6 Truths About Exercise That Nobody Wants to Believe  Success in the gym, as with most things in life, comes down to mastering the basics.  With that in mind, here are six exercise tips, weight lifting basics and training essentials that nobody wants to believe, but everyone should follow.

1. You need to commit for the long term  … Most people work out with a short-term goal in mind. The goal is to regain your health for the rest of your life.  Furthermore, stop acting like living a healthy life is a big deal. You can go to the gym every week. That can be “normal” for you. Not a sacrifice. Not an obligation. Normal.

2. You need to set a schedule for your training  … Most people never train consistently because they are always wondering when they are going to train next.  In other words, most people train when they feel motivated or inspired. Here’s a better idea. Stop treating exercise as something to do when it’s convenient and start setting a schedule for yourself to follow.   Setting a schedule for your training becomes even more important when life gets crazy. There will always be occasional emergencies that prevent you from working out. It’s part of life.  Let your schedule govern your actions, not your level of motivation.

3. You need to focus on the best exercises  … Great results come from great focus, not great variety.  Here’s a short list of the best exercises. In excercise in your headmy opinion, at least one of the first five exercises should be included in every workout.

  • Squat                    Deadlift                 Bench press                       Clean and jerk
  • Snatch                  Sprints                  Overhead press                 Good mornings
  • Pull-ups                Push-ups

4. You need to start light and train for volume before intensity   … It’s great to push yourself, but the biggest mistake that most people make is not building a foundation of strength. Everyone wants to jump in and max out with a weight that is “hard.” That’s exactly the wrong way to do it. Your workouts should be easy in the beginning.   Just to be clear. Volume doesn’t have to mean “do sets of 20 reps.” (I rarely do more than 10 reps in a single set.) Instead, I like to think of volume over a period of weeks and months.

5. You need to make slow progress each week  … Most people walk into the gym every week, do the same exercises with the same amount of weight, and wonder why they aren’t getting stronger.  If you want to see different results, you have to do something different. If you want to see progress each week, then you have to progress each week.  This is actually very simple to do. Add five pounds each week. Add an extra set this week. Do the same exercise, but rest for 15 seconds less between sets. These are all ways of changing the stimulus and forcing your body to slowly and methodically get better.

6. You need to record your workouts … What gets measured, gets managed. Tracking your progress is simple: get a small notebook and write down your workouts.

What You Should Do Now… You could spend your entire life mastering these six points, but these are the basics that will make a real difference in your training.  Here are your action steps:

  1. Set a schedule. When and where, exactly, are you going to train?
  2. Get a notebook and pen to record your training.
  3. Focus on the best exercises that make you move a lot.
  4. Start with a weight that is very light and train for volume before intensity.
  5. Slowly increase the weight each week.